Stranded 18

There’s one thing that always happened in those early days.
I mean there was Dylan and I hanging out.
Tyler building our world.
But one thing I don’t like to mention.
Well I guess it comes up here and there, but I never like to think about it.
Because it only gives me a headache.
It was so dull and not a highlight.
Now Tyler was a very strong person.
He could tune anything out.
He could take anything.
But even the strong sometimes needs to break down a little.
They need to step aside and prove to everyone they are human.
Well in this case, prove it to me.

My name is Luke Gray and Ian is a dildo.

579 Days Before Being Rescued

Ian – I don’t need your help! Would you stop asking?
Tyler – Hey man, I’m just trying to be nice.
Ian – Why don’t you go reinvent the wheel and make yourself look like a god?
Tyler – Dude, what is your problem?
Ian – I don’t have a problem.
Tyler – Then why do you always have to start something?
Ian – You just walk around like you own the place. This is Tyler’s World, everyone. Let’s do what Tyler says.
Tyler – Yo, that’s not how it is.
Ian – Psh, whatever. How about you let me do my thing, and you do yours, that all right with you, ‘dude’?
Tyler – C’mon, just chill we’re all here to help each other. It’s what we’re doin’. We’re all surviving, at whatever the cost.
Ian – And you make all the decisions.
Tyler – I don’t mean it to be that way, why don’t you make the next one.
Ian – That isn’t what I’m talking about, big shot.
Tyler – Dude, then what do you want?
Ian – I want you step off your ladder and stop being my boss. Let me do something for once without your input.
Tyler – Fine, you know what, you do that. You do your thing. I’ll do my thing. Just remember this, I didn’t ask for this role. You gave it to me.
Tyler walked away. He looked aggravated for the first time.
Ian – Yeah, that’s right you little pansy, just run away. Don’t come back.
He turned around to say something but bit his tongue and didn’t snoop to Ian’s level.
He continued walking.
I decided to follow him.
I spent a lot of time helping out Tyler in those days.
I’m sorry to say it, but I didn’t forgive Dylan.
So him and I weren’t around each other all that often.
Tyler was a few paces in front of me.
I’m sure he knew I was following.
But he continued on and muttered under his breath.
He finally stopped on the other side of the beach and sat in the sand facing the ocean.
I stopped short of him and watched his reactions.
He rustled his hair a bit with both hands and deeply sighed.
Tyler – Come here dude.
I continued to approach him.
Tyler – Take a seat.
I sat right next to him.
Tyler – How you holding up?
Luke – I’m okay.
Tyler – You and Dylan aren’t talking anymore?
Luke – Yeah, I dunno.
Tyler – What happened?
Luke – Uh, it’s hard to explain.
Tyler – It’s cool, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.
I was glad he didn’t pressure it out of me.
I don’t think I could handle telling him about Derek, let alone my sexuality.
Tyler was like an idol, a celebrity to me and I only wanted to look the best to him.
Tyler – Just remember, you can always come to me.
He looked right at me.
His big wide blue eyes.
Tyler – You got that?
Luke – Uh yeah.
I blinked and broke the stare he was giving me.
I had to look away.
He was doing it to me.

We remained quiet for a few minutes.
But I was okay with it.
I just remained still and enjoyed the peace of sitting before the vast ocean.
Of course Tyler was the first to start talking.
Tyler – Luke, do you think I’m bossy?
Luke – Heck no.
I knew he was thinking about what Ian said to him.
It was weird because Tyler was so strong. I could never see words harming him.
Tyler – Oh, that Ian.
Luke – Yeah, I don’t like him much either.
Tyler – It’s not that I don’t like him, I just don’t get what he wants. Sometimes he is cool, and then he gets like this.
Luke – Don’t let him bother you. Look at what Dylan does. He just ignores it. I mean you are a great leader here. You’ve done so much. I don’t know where we’d be without you.
Tyler – I’m not that perfect. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.
Luke – Like what? If you have, no one has noticed.
Tyler – What about Paul?
Luke – What about him?
Tyler – I still feel it is my fault he disappeared.
Luke – That was so long ago, though. It was before we were organized and knew each other.
Tyler – But I should have started searching right away. All I wanted to do was create that useless signal fire.
Luke – It wasn’t useless.
Tyler – It didn’t help though. I should have been looking for him when we realized he wasn’t there.
Luke – Well think about how Dylan and I left for a night. You didn’t go searching for us immediately and we turned out fine.
Tyler – But there were two of you.
Luke – I don’t think that is relevant.
Tyler – I know what you are saying, honestly, I do. But it still bothers me. I don’t think I will ever shed the guilt.
I looked into his eyes.
He continued to stare out into the ocean.
He showed it on his face.
He felt bad about it.
I could tell he cared about each and every one of us and felt he was responsible.
It was a position that fell into his lap and he accepted it.
Luke – It’s still not your fault.
He shrugged off my comment.
His opinion wouldn’t change no matter what I said.

Tyler – Alright, this is stupid.
He stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me up as well.
He started pulling me towards the ocean.
I was slow at first, but he got me to a run.
He released my hand and threw off his shirt.
I slowed down right before the water started as he dived in ahead of me.
I stood in the ankle deep water and observed him.
He didn’t look back at me.
He swam around doing various strokes eventually ending in a back float.
And then I felt a little constraining pressure down south.
I looked down and realized I was turned on.
It freaked me out because I didn’t want to be.
I wanted Derek.
Not Tyler.
But I couldn’t stop looking at him.
I adjusted my jeans letting it come up.
Tyler – C’mon on in, dude.
He was watching me.
I was concerned that he saw the boner.
But he didn’t show any signs of it.
He swam back eventually standing up.
He walked right up to me and pulled at my shoulder.
I didn’t move too much.
Tyler – Don’t look so serious.
He put his arm around my shoulder and escorted me towards the deeper water.
I went along with him.
But he put his opposite hand down to my knees and picked me up like a baby.
Luke – Wait, let me take off my shirt.
He wasn’t stopping.
Tyler – It’s too late for that.
I pulled my arm out and put it around his back.
We were now fully submerged.
He flattened my body and pushed me off in my own back float.
I stared up into the bright blue sky.
I couldn’t help but question what was wrong with me.
My whole life was figured out up to that point.
It consisted of one man.
Derek.
But here I was in a completely new world getting a boner from someone else and in a fight with a really good friend for basically being a jerk.
Yeah, I admitted it to myself pretty quickly.
I was a jerk to Dylan.
All his points were valid.
He was describing me. I did make myself an outsider to that world.
I didn’t accept anyone. I only lived like I was a guest.
I started to see it.
But I was nervous of what to say to Dylan.
And now Tyler floating next to me.
Turning me on.
I was scared. That is the only way to put it.

About an hour later Tyler and I were back to sitting on the beach drying off.
We didn’t say much, but remained next to each other.
I didn’t want to leave his side.
I looked down the beach and saw Dylan with Hayden.
He was helping her prepare dinner I guessed.
He must have gave in to her and found a replacement for me.
I watched his actions.
Hayden must have made a joke, because he smiled and laughed a little.
I felt jealous.
I wanted to share a laugh with him again.
But I also wanted to sit with Tyler.
My eyes didn’t break watching him though.
My body was with Tyler and my focus on Dylan.

I finally let myself say it.
Dylan was cute.
He truly was.
I knew it for a while.
But I couldn’t admit it.
I wouldn’t let myself.
Only one question remained.
How do I end this argument?
I was afraid if I tried to end it he might take it as me offering to be with him.
And I didn’t know if I wanted to be with him that way.
All I did know was I wanted him to be my friend again.
He stopped moving and was looking in my direction.
He saw me watching him and smiled.
I quickly looked away.