Stranded 13

You might ask why we didn’t put more effort into creating a signal fire or coming up with a way to get off the island.
Well we did. We absolutely did.
Countless attempts were made to come up with ways to let the world know where we were.
But it really doesn’t matter.
We were rescued.
You know that.
So the failed attempts, let’s just leave those out.
If it really bothers you, then go get stranded on an island yourself and see what you come up with. I’ll bet our ideas will be very similar.
Well actually I think we should leave out my failed attempts.
When it comes to Ian’s...

My name is Luke Gray and you get no hint.

681 Days Before Being Rescued

Well I told you I could jump ahead a couple months.
And this is when I meant.
This is when everything began to get interesting.

Dylan and I were back from our daily excursion. What we specifically did that day, I don’t remember, but he and I were relaxing by the nearly completed huts Tyler had been working on.
Tyler – Hey dudes, can I get some help with this?
Luke – Of course, what do you need?
Dylan and I got up without hesitation.
Tyler – I’m gonna need as many hands as possible.
Dylan – Should we get Ian?
Tyler – Uh, well he looks pretty occupied over there.
Ian had this brilliant idea of building a raft. It was all he worked on for the last month. Which he had to restart who knows how many times because, well, let’s just say it kept falling apart.
Which was always funny.
He would get pissed and irritated and then storm around. So as long as you weren’t in his path, it always provided some comic relief.
Even Dylan thought it was hilarious.
Why he was building a raft, no one really knew.
I don’t think he planned on sailing off.
Because Zooey openly said she wasn’t going anywhere on a raft he built. And my guess is Dylan was thinking the same thing.
Maybe it was just pride. He had to finish it just to prove to everyone he could do it.
Whatever the case, it was always funny to watch.

This time was no different. He must have thought he could stand up a mast because he kept trying to balance this long log but it would only fall over.
Even Tyler chuckled under his breath when it fell over another time.
Tyler – Guys, I think I’m gonna go help him. How about I get your help tomorrow?
Luke – No problem.
Dylan and I watched Tyler approach Ian. He attempted to catch the log as it fell over. They were too far away to hear what was being said, but it was clear Ian was saying he didn’t want any help.

We started laughing and goofing around as we headed away from camp into the trees.
We chased each other for a little ways before Dylan stopped after I pushed him.
Dylan – Hey Luke, there’s something I really want to tell you.
Luke – Spit it out then, loser.
We always gave each other “mean” nicknames.
Dylan – Let’s go to the stream.
The stream was a place we found that no one else knew about. It was peaceful and beautiful. There was a waterfall about 6 feet high with a small pool below it. The waterfall only ran for a day or two after it rained, so for the most part the water at the base sat still.
Dylan and I would go to the stream to hide and be by ourselves. Not to mention to take a swim or bathe in fresh water.
And no, we weren’t greedy not sharing it.
There was a larger pond closer to camp that Tyler found where we got most of our water.
So this area was reserved for Dylan and I.

He was quiet on the walk over.
Luke – So what’s got you all choked up?
Dylan – Uh, I don’t really know how to say this.
Luke – Say what? Hey, let’s go for a swim.
Dylan – Wait. Uh.
I was completely oblivious of the serious conversation he was trying to have.
Dylan – I have wanted to say this to you for a long time.
Luke – Um, okay?
Dylan – I just wanted to say...

I had only one thought.
He was going to tell me who Zooey and Ian were.
I knew how much he wanted to keep it a secret.
I saw it in him that he was hiding something from me.
I knew he wanted to say it to me.
It was just that feeling, sort of an awkwardness that existed but what it meant left me blank.

Dylan – I think I like you.
Luke – Aw, thanks. I like you too. But what does that have anything to do with...?
Dylan – No. I mean...
I remember looking into his eyes and understanding what he meant.
Luke – Oh.
Dylan – I’m sorry.
Luke – What? Don’t be sorry.
Dylan – I don’t want to gross you out.
Luke – What, no. Trust me, you don’t gross me out.
Dylan – Ugh, I’ve never said something like that out loud.
I hadn’t told anyone of my sexuality on the island. I had no reason to. There was no one I was attracted to that I knew of.
Dylan – I feel so stupid.
Luke – Don’t. I don’t care.
I grabbed the top of his hand and made him look me in the eyes.
Luke – It’s cool man.
I never thought I’d tell anyone on the island I was gay. Even though Dylan was admitting it to me, it never crossed my mind to tell him about me.
Dylan – Agh, I can’t believe I just told you that.
Luke – You know you can tell me anything, right?
Dylan – I guess.
I had to calm him down. I could tell he was feeling really weird and this conversation needed to move on.
I really didn’t care what his sexuality was.
He was my best friend there and nothing was going to change that.
Luke – Offer’s still out there to go for a swim.
Dylan – Luke, are you gay?
I was absolutely not expecting those words out of his mouth.
I couldn’t lie to him. But I didn’t want to say the truth.
I only paused.

The look in his eyes made me say something. I couldn’t hold it in.
Luke – Yes.
His face went blank.
Dylan – Really?
Now I was feeling just as stupid as he was.
Luke – Yeah.
I looked away from him now. I couldn’t make eye contact. I didn’t want him judging me.
Dylan – Luke?

I didn’t say anything.
I don’t know if you can understand what I was thinking.
I mean some of you might. My guess is this might go under the genre of LGBT way in the future, like after everyone forgets.
So you might have some sort of an idea.
But describing it to someone who doesn’t understand, I don’t know if I can.
I’ve never had to tell anyone before.
I mean my brother told me. But that’s for another time.
But this feeling.
It’s like you hold something inside of you for so long, you become trapped by it.
It’s that jail cell surrounded by vertical steel bars, that no matter how hard you squeeze and pull and push, they don’t break. It’s all you want, to just escape it.
But then a big keychain named Dylan rattles into your life and offers to open the door.
He pulls it wide open giving you a new view.
Nothing is holding you in anymore and you can walk past the secret.
You can smell and taste the freedom of it.
Nothing is there to keep you from being yourself.
I felt for once I was able to be the real Luke that hides behind the bars.
It was freeing me.
It felt good. I felt I could do or say anything.
Dylan – Do you like me?
Except answer that.
I never thought of him as anything more than a friend.
Luke – I dunno.
Dylan – Well, I really like you.
I still didn’t say anything nor did I look at him.
Dylan – Like a lot.
My hand was still on top of his so he turned it around and locked our fingers.
Dylan – What do you think?
Luke – No.
I pulled my hand out of his.
Dylan – Why?
Luke – I just can’t.
Dylan – But why? No one needs to know. It can be our secret.
I finally gained the courage to make eye contact with him.
Luke – I’m sorry, it’s not you. You know I like you as a friend. But...
He looked so disappointed.

Dylan – You really are? I always thought you might be.
Luke – I look gay?
Dylan – No, I mean, I dunno. I mean, you look like Luke, my best friend. But I dunno. Maybe it was the part of me that wanted you. Maybe it was that part that told me you could be.
I didn’t want to look gay. At the time I wasn’t exactly proud of it. I didn’t want anyone to know.
He might have opened the jail cell, but I still wanted it covering me to everyone else.
Dylan – But why not though? I’m sorry I keep asking. But how perfect is this?
Luke – Dylan, I’m sorry.
Dylan – You really aren’t giving a reason. I can tell there is something else. Do you like me back?
Luke – I dunno.
I looked at him. I gave him a shot. For the first time I looked at him as something other than a friend. But I only wanted him to be my friend.
Dylan – Please tell me what you are thinking.
Luke – Dylan, it’s not you at all. Trust me.
Dylan – Then what is it?
Luke – Well, it’s more of a who.
Dylan – Uh, then who is it?
Luke – Derek.