Stranded 9

That look in Dylan’s eyes.
He was scared of me.
Scared of what I would say.
How I would take it.
Would I still accept him?
He was looking at me for some hint that I was okay with it.
But at the time, no, I wasn’t.
I was scared.  I didn’t know where I was.
He was my only friend.
And suddenly he was dehumanized by a complete stranger.
A terrifying stranger.
How else was I supposed to look back at him?
Give him my approval to be treated like that?
I couldn’t do it.
But I knew I had to.
Because the second I saw him again I had to tell him it was okay.
That I wouldn’t hold it against him.
That I wasn’t scared of him.
That he could come to me and I would protect him.
That he was my blood shirt brother and we were there for each other.
Too bad I didn’t see it that way.
I wasn’t brave.
I was scared of Dylan.

My name is Luke Gray and I am about to find motivation from an unlikely source.

412 days after being rescued.

Sterling – What have you been doing with that journal?
Luke – What? It’s a journal.
Sterling – Yeah, but it’s like you completely forgot about the world around you and are so concerned with whatever you are writing.
Was I?  It’s probably true.  All I have done the past couple days is work on writing this story. 
Sterling – It’s like you forgot me.
I looked back at his face, he looked sad and disappointed in me.  Like he wanted me to come and sit with him.
You know, that puppy dog face that little girls use on their dad.
Luke – I could never forget you.
I put down the pencil and walked over to him.
He was sitting on the couch with a blanket over his legs watching an old rerun of something I didn’t care about.
He lifted the blanket as I snuggled up next to him.
He adjusted his body to face me and put his arm around my stomach gripping my side.
Luke – Agh, you are tickling me again.
Sterling – I know.
He smiled at me.
Luke – Then why do you always do it?
Sterling – Cause I like to.
Luke – Yeah well, I ...
He let go and moved his hand to my face.  He turned my head to face his as he pulled me in for a kiss.

See here’s my thing. 
And no, not my thing.
Get your mind out of the gutter.  I’m trying to stay clean here.
My thing is I don’t want to make this a porno. 
But right now, I was done with Sterling.  I didn’t want to go any further than using his warmth for comfort.
But he obviously wanted more.
I had to come up with a way to dodge it.

And you and I both know what I should do.
But is now the right time?

I quickly jumped up like I just remembered something.
Sterling – What is it?  Did I do something wrong?
Luke – No, I just remembered I need to take care of something.
I quickly left the room and stopped right outside to listen if he was following.
His head popped out.
Sterling – What?  Stand in the hall?
Agh.  Go play with yourself.
Luke – Um, I realized I need to get something.
I walked back into my room and opened the desk drawer.  I pulled out Tyler’s number.
Sterling – What’s that?
Luke – It’s a piece of paper.
Sterling – I know that.
He reached for the paper.  But I moved my hand out of his range.
Sterling – What is on it?
Luke – Nothing.
Sterling – Then why can’t I see it?
Luke – It’s a phone number.
Sterling – Who’s?
Luke – Just no one’s.
He gave me a look that he knew I was lying.  Which surprised me because I didn’t think he could tell when I was. 
Luke – I’ll tell you later.  I just need to call someone.
Sterling – You promise?
Luke – Yes, can you let me go?
Sterling – Pinky swear?
I rolled my eyes at him for being so corny.
Luke – Pinky swear.
Our fingers touched as he quickly leaned in and pecked my lips.
Sterling – Good.
He backed off and directed his attention back to the television.

I guess I have to do it.  Especially because I am writing everything down now.  I think you’ve had enough of Dylan and I.  You want to know what is happening right here today.
Plus Sterling is going to start snooping around to find this number if I don’t give him exact details of the call.
Which means I need to come up with something clever to hide what the conversation really is.
So I should probably just call him to get ideas.
What else do I have to loose?

I dialed the numbers in my cell phone one at a time verifying each was correct.
Why am I stalling so much with this?
This is stupid.
I pushed send and placed the phone against my ear.

It started ringing.

Tyler – Hello?
Whoa, his voice.
Tyler – Hello, who is this?
Luke – Hi.
Tyler – Who is this?  This is a private number.  You can’t call here.
Luke – Tyler?
Tyler – Yes, this is Tyler, what do you want?
Luke – It’s me.
I waited.  He didn’t snap back at me right away.
His voice was more subtle.
Tyler – What do you want?
I had no idea what to say.
My plan was to call him and take it from there.
Luke – Do you know who this is?
Tyler – Yes.
Okay, now say something else.
Luke – How are you?
Tyler – I’m fine.  How did you get this number?
Luke – Someone gave it to me.
Tyler – Who?
He didn’t need to know that.
I was quiet for a minute.  He was as well.
Luke – Tyler?
Tyler – Yes?
Luke – I miss you.
Tyler – Luke.
Oh that gave me a chill, hearing him say my name again.
Tyler – Why are you calling me?
Luke – I wanted to talk to you.
Tyler – What is there to say?  We were rescued.  That is all we ever wanted.
Luke – Tyler, you can’t be that naïve.
Tyler – Luke, what do you want from me?
Luke – Can I see you?
Tyler – What?!  Are you kidding me?  You just call me unannounced like this and expect us to become friends again.  Instantly.  Well it doesn’t work like that.
All I ever tell you is that my eyes tear.  You must think of me as the biggest baby.  But those words did it to me.
I remained silent.
Tyler – I’m sorry.  But Luke, I really have nothing to offer you.
Luke – Please.
Tyler – I’m sorry.
Luke – Tyler, I didn’t have this planned.  I’m not trying to stalk you.  I’ve had your number for a long time.  But I was thinking about Dylan and I wanted to talk to you.
Tyler – No.  I am not telling you.  I can’t.
Luke – Why?
Tyler – I just can’t.  I can’t relive it.  You wouldn’t understand.
Luke – How can you say that?!  You know what I saw.  You know how helpless I felt.
He didn’t say anything immediately.
Tyler – I know.
Luke – Then can you tell me?
Tyler – I don’t know.
Luke – Can you tell me in person?  Please, just one time.  That’s all I ask.
Tyler – No. 
Luke – Why not?  Why are you so afraid of me?
Tyler – I’m not.
Luke – Yes you are!  It’s like I embarrass you.  The second you knew we were to be rescued you pushed me away.
Tyler – You do not embarrass me.
Luke – Then why did you deny it?
Tyler – I don’t know.
Luke – Yes you do!  You had this planned from the beginning.
Tyler – What?  No...
Luke – How else could you decide so instantaneously?
Tyler – It wasn’t like that.
Luke – Yeah, whatever.
I waited for him to explain.
Tyler – Luke.
I didn’t say anything.
Tyler – I’m sorry.
Luke – Then tell me what happened.
Tyler – Come see me.
Luke – Really?
Tyler – I have something to give you.
Luke – You do?
Tyler – It belongs to you.
Luke – Okay?
Tyler – But you have to promise me one thing.
Luke – Anything.
Tyler – If I give this to you, you have to promise to never contact me again.