love perspective series one intro

When telling my story there is really no way to start. I could tell you the world is perfect and everyone’s wishes come true, but that would be a lie. The story I want to share I’m guessing you’ve never heard before.

I love a good disney story where everyone winds up living happily ever after. Even the lonely janitor in two scenes of an entire movie finds love. I bet even part of you falls for its bs. I just hope a happily ever after is possible.

I guess I’ll start by saying who I am. I am Billie. I am six foot. Blonde. Sexy. And everyone wants me or wants to be me. I am skilled at everything.

You can give me anything and I’ll figure it out. I can build you a bike or bake you a cake. Beat you in basketball or write you a poem. I’m the head cheerleader and president of the math club.

Well, not really. That is who I wish I was. Maybe I would be noticed if I had a tenth of those qualities. I am Billie. More like 5 and a half foot. Still Blonde. The rest is just me in a fictional world that exists only in my head.

I’ve always wanted to be good at something or be known to have one particular skill. To have people see me and say, “Hey Billie, nice work today”. You know, to be known for something.

I want to have a boyfriend and be able to break up and have the next one in line. To be “hot”. But you can’t be everything.

Who am I?

I am just plain old Billie.

Yeah that is me. A girl with a boy’s name. And what’s worse is I don’t think I have a single “girl” friend. I’m the girl with the boy name that hangs with all the guys. Does it not scream dyke?

It’s okay. I am stuck with my two best friends: Justin and Ricky.

We are an interesting trio. We all met in elementary school when our parents all moved to the same neighborhood at the same time. Ricky always explains that it was fate or destiny. To me it all depends on the future.

The three of us were the “new kids” so we had trouble making friends the first day. So, we stayed together. And it stuck. Now it’s 12 years later.

So to further understand my story I should tell you more about my two buddies. First off you can’t help but notice Justin.

He’s cool, confident, skilled, and he loves to pick a fight and debate it out. He’s so good he can win an argument that the sky isn’t actually blue. But with all the trickery comes a lot of sarcasm. The thing about Justin is you love and hate him.

Oh and he’s wanted me for way too long. But I just want him as a friend. There is no other way. Even though he will never give it up. That pretty much sums him up. Because with Justin I don’t think there is anything deep about him.

No, I take that back. There is part of him that proves he’s human. He cares about someone: his little brother, Johnny.

And then there is my sweetheart, Ricky.

I wish.

He’s sweet and romantic and his eyes.. oh crap. That keeps happening. Let me try this again.

I don’t know if I’d call him “emo” because I don’t think he would ever cut his wrist or go sulk in the corner with his bangs over his eyes. Heck who even knows what emo really means? But if I had to describe his personality in one word I’d call him emo.

He usually has something on his mind and I can tell it comes from somewhere deep within him. He tends to start these philosophical debates and he and Justin will argue it out for hours. I usually just sit and let their voices calm me down as my eyes fall into a daze.

And no, Ricky is not always what I’m staring at.

I guess that goes back to me. I gave you a little about myself but it’s hard to explain yourself to a stranger. Who am I? I guess I could just throw some adjectives out there. That is easy enough.

I am quiet, definitely quiet. Creative. As I usually come up with our daily endeavors. And a bit of a dreamer, which you can already tell. But I would consider myself strong. I am the strong one in my trio of friends because in the end, I always pull us back together.

That is my one desire: to keep us friends. My dorky dream is to have the three of us living in three (or two if Ricky and I work out) houses right in a row in some suburban town in 20 years. So if that happens I guess I would agree with Ricky’s idea of fate.

I guess that is all I can say in the first chapter of my story. Introductions seem to make sense as I open the bridge into my life. Now I just have to find a good part to start explaining everything to you.

Talk to you soon.

Billie

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Everyone has something they don’t like to reveal. It can be about anything. You don’t know how to ride a bike or you never learned to swim. Maybe you are afraid of what others think, no matter what it is, everyone has some hidden secret.

I definitely have some secrets. Like my dad is in prison and let’s just say my mom isn’t exactly living a proud life. I guess I live in what is called the slums. But no one needs to know this. My entire school has no idea. For all they know I am from a normal middle class family with a mom, dad, and white picket fence.

Sometimes I need to cover this by doing some actions I am not proud of. I have to steal to get food and clothes and make myself appear part of this ordinary American family.

However, there is one thing about me I am not embarrassed about. I’m gay. Proud of it. I’m not flamboyant or whatever. Most people don’t guess it. But I won’t hide it or cover it with a lie if someone asks.

I would definitely consider myself quite normal. In fact, I think I break all the stereotypes when it comes to homosexuals.

So who am I?

I am Max.

I’m going to be a junior this year. I’m 15 years old. I skipped a grade because this dump of a school I’m forced to attend really isn’t all that hard. I just know I’m not meant to live here.

I should be on the other side of the river. You know, where the suburbs start, where people don’t sit in front of their house smoking all day. Where people have jobs and make good money and come home to their 2.3 kids.

Yeah, that is my dream. Not to be anybody famous, but just be a normal person who loves who they are.

I’ve dated a few guys here and there, but they just aren’t what I want. The relationships are short and shallow. They never do anything for me.

I’m still looking for Mr. Perfect. Who knows where he is. But I just know I need to find him and soon. I don’t think I can take these slums any more. I’m ready to say good riddance and cross that bridge.

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I think I’ve moved so many times in my life that I stopped trying to make real friends. I’ve lived in seven homes in twelve years. I’m sick of being the new kid. That is all I ever am. I’m never anywhere longer than two years. I swear you can just call me Shane the new guy.

Again I’m headed to the start of a new home. Except for once I don’t need to be the new kid. Why is that? Because this year I am starting college. So everyone is new. I will really like that feeling.

I’m just attending whatever the local community college is. I am not even sure what the name is. I just know I can’t afford a big university for all four years. So I’ll split it.

One thing about moving is I have a twin sister who will always be there.

Her name is Maggie. She is much more outgoing than I am. She always manages to make new friends no matter where we are.

And she always finds me a few along the way. Which I can’t complain about because I’m not the greatest at finding likeable peers. Maybe I’m just uptight, I dunno. But I have a lot of trust issues.

It probably all goes back to moving around so much. It’s just not what I’m meant for. I need to be stationary and develop a real friendship with someone. Maybe then I would learn about myself and not just sit in my room all the time.

I just hope this place is different. Especially because I think we will stay here while I go through college. And college is where you meet the friends you remain close to for the rest of your life. At least I think I read that somewhere.

Plus I’m 18 now. So I can stay behind if my dad gets transferred again. Here’s to hoping. We are crossing the bridge into my new town now.

-Shane